Football – it’s probably not for you

The greatest sport in the world, ruined over the weekend by many small, but far too noisy, sections of society.

To the mindless fools who broke down security barriers and entered Wembley Stadium without a ticket, injuring and abusing those who had paid a hell of a lot of money to be there in peace – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the 49 people arrested by the Metropolitan Police for your disgusting behaviour both pre- and post-match; to those attacking Italian and Danish men, women and CHILDREN for the crime of not being En-ger-lish – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the people from all and any corners of the globe who decided an appropriate response to young men missing penalty kicks was to take to social media and give them vile, racist abuse – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the person who vandalised the Marcus Rashford mural, you are scum – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the politicians of all parties and persuasions who donned replica kits in an attempt at point-scoring, having spent the last year campaigning against and criticising the young men they claim to be behind – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To those laying the blame for the racist abuse solely at those politicians’ feet, making out that trouble at football has only come about since Brexit or since taking the knee was called “gesture politics”, while conveniently ignoring the decades of hooliganism that don’t fit your agenda – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the virtue signallers who posted images highlighting the fact that England players have parents or grandparents born in other countries. Congratulations, you just made it about race. Whether their nans were from Lagos, Limerick or Lowestoft, they are the England team, no different in terms of ethnic diversity than the majority of other Western European international sides, but thanks for focusing on skin colour, rather than shirt colour. We don’t want you, football is not for you.

To those who have called out “football fans” for the appalling scenes on Sunday, just for your information, what you saw were not football fans, and we won’t have our name dragged through the mud again because of a few yobs and chancers. We don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the people who have taken to social media to blame white, cis, men for the thuggery and abuse. Watch the footage of people breaking in and you’ll see a more diverse range of ethnicities than in the England squad. While you’re at it, watch Gareth Southgate’s news conference where he says most of the racist abuse comes from abroad. Also, who are you to assume their sexuality? We don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the A-listers and delegates who can dodge quarantine rules just to be handed tickets that many of us can only dream of getting our low-life paws on – we don’t want you, football is not for you.

To the people who hadn’t watched a football match since England v Croatia 2018 and believe the nonsense opinions they spout on Facebook are in any way relevant, just stop because – we don’t want you, football is not for you. And just piss off.

I wake up every morning thankful that I’m not an England fan. On the whole, this is quite unfair, because genuine England fans are just as passionate about their team as I am about mine, while still being perfectly respectful. They tend to get a bit carried away with things coming home/not coming home and that tinge of arrogance can blur their collective vision on occasion, but generally, they’re proper fans, and that’s why I separate them from the anthem-booing, flare-up-the-arse, bottle-throwing baggage that comes with the Three Lions.

But it’s that same baggage, all too unique to the England team, that will always deter me from wishing them well, no matter how likeable and well-intentioned their players and manager are.

I was in Baku just 10 days ago for the Denmark v Czech Republic match. There were no arrests; bottles remained in hand; backsides were not illuminated; children were not attacked; barriers were not crushed; the flow of alcohol didn’t lead to hostility; twitter barely noticed, neither did Tom Cruise, nor politicians in shirts with labels still attached.

There were just fans… proper football fans.